How to find Clarity around making a decision without your head exploding! 3 Steps + 5 Questions

Hey you!! I am so so glad you are here right now in this moment. Whether you have stumbled upon me for the first time or are a devoted reader. I am sure you have had times in your life where you just needed to find clarity around making a decision without your head exploding! If you are like me, your head can actually hurt from all the thinking… And over thinking… and thinking some more.

I took on a new project. It is an online course. That… well… teaches me how to find what I am really good at and teach it to others. There is so much valuable information and I am loving the learning aspect of the course. It was a financial investment and I had 30 days to decide if it was right for me or I could return it. I was hesitant in the beginning but I decided that this could possibly be a good tool to gain some direction on my next right step. What did I have to lose, with the return policy I thought I was all set!

The first two weeks were A LOT of work. I loved it though. I was really learning so much. About myself and what my passion really is. I thought… WOW this is so Awesome! Praise the Lord for this opportunity! Then it happened. With 3 days left out of 30, all the feelings/fears came crashing at once. Paralyzed. Did I make the right next step? Overwhelm. Self-doubt. Insecurities. I’m not good enough. What will people think? What if I fail? To sum it up, I got myself in a really bad head space. I freaked out! I can’t think straight. I am stressed out. My head hurts and I think it may just explode.

Have you been there? Are you there right now? Don’t worry. I’ve got your back. I have come up with 3 steps to take & 5 questions you can ask yourself the next time the overwhelm comes knocking at your front door.

Let’s start with the 3 steps.

  1. CHILL OUT! Sound harsh? It is not meant too, but I may have said it loudly. 😉 Just tell yourself. Self- We need to relax! Is all this stress really helping us?
  2. Pray. Listen.. we just gotta pull a MC Hammer and “We got to pray just to make it today. If you are not from the 80’s sorry not sorry. lol.
  3. Call your Amy. Who is Amy? She is my phycologist, counselor and friend. Everyone needs an Amy in their life. She helps you sort through all the madness running through your head. It can get pretty crazy in there. If it were not for her I don’t know where I would be today. Get yourself an Amy! (my shameless plug for mental wellness) Is adopting a mom a thing? Cause if it is.. I choose Amy. (don’t laugh. I am 100% serious.)

5 Questions to ask for more clarity.

  1. If I had no people in my life to report to. No one judging me. No shame. No guilt. If I could choose and do whatever I wanted to do, what would I do? Which direction would I take? Great question right? It really helps to open our eyes to the underlining feeling of overwhelm. Is it because of our own self doubts and insecurities in our abilities. Or is it because of what others will think or say. Their opinion.
  2. Am I avoiding taking a risk? Taking that next BIG step can be scary. It can make us feel like… Woah! this doesn’t feel right to me. Maybe I’m making a mistake. Those feelings are actually fear based. Because taking a huge jump into sub-zero water is scary for everyone. We have to know the difference between the “Yucky feeling <> Wow this is hard feeling” (thanks to Amy for that analogy 😉 )
  3. Does this feel authentic to me? Will it bring me one step closer to my goals/vision? We want to make sure that we are being a good steward of our time and resources. So this is a good question to ask yourself. And even if the step is small (in size but big in feelings) it may just be the right next step.
  4. What decision will give me the most peace? AND WHY? Asking if this will give me peace is only half of the question. If I say no to this course I am taking and return it, Sure I will have peace because I will no longer have to work my butt off to get the work done. I no longer will be faced with my self doubts and fears of failing. We need to ask the peace why? Isaiah 26:3 You (God) will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on you.
  5. And the last question…. the 10-10-10 rule by Suzy Welch. When you are faced with a decision about what you’re going to spend time on or commit to, ask yourself these questions. What will be the consequences of this decision……

In 10 minutes?…

In 10 weeks?…

In 10 years… Will my future self be happy with my present self for saying either “yes” or “no”?

Grab yourself a journal and your favorite pen. Take it one-question-at-a-time. If you need extra help there is no shame in calling a phycologist, counselor or Pastor for extra help to talk it out too. I am all about the talking!

I pray this really helps you find the clarity for your next right step. It isn’t always easy but I know with these steps/questions it can lighten the overwhelm just bit.

And remember… God uses it all! All for His glory!

Bonus: 3 Scriptures to get you started today.

Psalm 25:4 ~ Show me the right path, oh Lord. Point out the road for me to follow.

Psalm 142:1-3 ~ I cry out to the Lord, I plead for the Lord’s mercy. I pour out my complaints before Him and tell Him all my troubles. When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn.

Psalm 143:8 ~ Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.

Karensign

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