How I finally got the body I’ve always wanted + I have a confession + One year Anniversary

Every year for my birthday I treat myself. This year it is this sweatshirt. Now, my birthday isn’t for about 20 days but I just couldn’t wait. ha!

This sweatshirt is amazing. True to size.(they are unisex, I am wearing a small) Roomy and so so soft. I am sure to get a ton of use out of it. You really never know what you are going to get when you order online, but Sarah Marie Design Studio went above and beyond!

A few weeks back I was scrolling through my instagram and there it was. It comes every year and I shouldn’t be surprised but this year it just hit me different. The post, with a picture of a woman in a bathing suit looking amazing, said ” 10 weeks until Summer, how to get the perfect bikini body”

And so the striving and comparison begins. Counting calories, measuring, eliminating and endless hours in the gym. Because we only have 10 weeks until summer! And my body certainly isn’t bathing suit ready. At least not compared to the woman in the picture.

I have struggled most of my life with body image issues. It started as a young teenager and stayed with me into adulthood. The if only’s. If only I was thinner. More muscular. Toned. Flatter stomach. My thighs didn’t look like they were covered in cottage cheese. Stretch marks. My boobs are too small. The comparison trap never ends. no matter the age.

And I have a confession.

I believed the lie. If only I did have the “perfect” body then I would be happy. Small framed on the top and wider on the bottom I always felt out of proportion. And honestly being small chested I never felt feminine or attractive and it was a huge struggle for me. I just couldn’t seem to accept my body and the way God created it.

I took matters into my own hands and on April 27th 2011 the day after my 40th birthday I had surgery. I had breast augmentation and trusted the Doctor and everything I researched. I was finally going to be happy.

I was happy for a few years. Until I found out the doctor lied. I had heard reports of women getting very sick after having breast implants put in. The doctor assured me that those women were lying and that implants are 100% safe. He lied.

After 7 years my body was shutting down. I had a list of over 30 symptoms that began 2 months after putting them in and I ignored them. For years. And I felt like I was dying. April 5th 2018 is my one year anniversary of having my implants removed.

The left is 5 days before I had my implants removed. The right is 3 days after.

I was finally free.

How did I finally get the body I always wanted? By completely accepting the one I was given. I love and appreciate my body now in a way I never have before. I am no longer ashamed of my shape. I am embracing it.

I have something to tell you. Your body is perfect just the way it is. You do not have to change a thing about you to be ready for the beach. Except this one thing. Accept yourself and how perfectly God created you.

Do you really know how Beautiful you are?

Psalm 139:14 (The Message) Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out, you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God- you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration – what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you. The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.

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