Don’t be fooled by these beautiful children posing with perfect smiles…… They have the ability to make you laugh, cry and want to run away, all at a moments notice.
Have your kids ever said to you, in a heated dramatic moment, “I don’t want to live here, I am running away” Well, mine have, and my youngest, 8 year old Jeremy, has joined the ranks this week.
The girls have been working and Jacob is away, so it has just been the two of us this week. I had big plans for some serious one-on-one time with him but apparently I am not as exciting as I think.
My patience wore thin, as he said over and over “I’m bored”, and in one of my not so finest moments, we began to argue. Yup, there I was arguing with an 8 year old (and acting like one I might add). When he opened his mouth next out came those famous words “I want to run away”
Me too buddy….. me too.
I am about to get real here for a minute. The following is what I wrote in my journal the next morning.
8/1/18 – I am feeling all the failures today. The woulda, shoulda, coulda’s. In my parenting – marriage – life choices. I want to go back in time and do it all over again.
I can not get back my kids childhood and there is no rewind. How do I do it all different in this season of my life? College – Highschool – Elementary. I don’t know.
So I pray- Lord, Redeem my days. I confess to you of the controlling, frustrated, angry parent I was and still am at times. I was so focused on making sure my family didn’t look like mine did growing up. I was working so hard on the outside all the while forgetting the heart, the fun-it all overwhelmed me & somewhere along the way I got so lost.
And the Lord gently reminded me that He is going to show me how to do this next season, “same me, different mood”
Psalm 37:23-24 ~ The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives (24) Though they stumble, they will never fail, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Let’s face it, we can’t go back in time, but, we can get a do-over. The kids may be older, the wrong choices you made are in the past, and your marriage can have excitement in the “everyday same old same old of life” We can start today new and fresh. Looking to the Lord to help us think, act and love differently than we have before. We can move forward into each new day with forgiveness for ourselves for not being this imaginary person we think we should be.
Your kids still need you, every wrong choice is a lesson learned to make you stronger and it is not about how it looks on the outside but the joy and love on the inside.
On the lighter side
I finished July with 80 miles under my feet. That is 20 miles more than June, Not bad!
How do I keep myself motivated to run more miles?? Sign up for a Half Marathon of course!
I am definitely using this to replenish my electrolytes during my long runs in the next 10 weeks while I train. I can not have sugar right now and this has “ZERO” which I am pretty excited about.
Just me and my littlest pup running errands.
We were in Whole Foods a few weeks ago and Jeremy saw a girl riding in this basket with her mom pulling her. He thought I should do that for him. (Only she was 2 and he is 8.)
Costco shenanigans …. typical 4th child. such a ham. ps. I got this rug for my daughters dorm room. A nice size and at a fraction of the cost compared to other places we looked. Costco for the win!
I found these Veggie Pops at Costco. They are okay…. no love or hate and I am not sure if I will buy them again. I think I need to eat them a few more times.
What is your “favorite find” at Costco?
Costco, BJ’s or Sam’s club? And why?
How many miles did you run/workout last month?
What is your go-to late night snack? I am needing a new treat, please help a girl out!